Sunday, December 7, 2014

It's All About Me

Your birthday is the one day out of the year that you can actually get away with feeling like the day is all about you.  Is there anything really wrong with that?  For 364 other days throughout the year you put others first, especially if you are a mom, so is it asking too much to have one day for yourself where you are the center of attention?  On the surface, being the “center of attention” has negative connotations.  It implies some level of selfishness or arrogance and so after years of conditioning we are taught to shy away from it.  On your birthday, you can truly embrace being the center of attention without feeling the slightest regret.

Over the years, your birthday celebrations change drastically.  We plan our children’s parties with sometimes extravagant themes, party venues, etc.  It’s worth every penny to see the joy and happiness on your little one’s face.  As the years go on, the parties may become smaller, as the price of the gifts become bigger.  When you get to your college years and beyond, the parties start much later and go into the wee hours of the night.  Presents are more often delivered in liquid form than as a package with a bow on it.  The next phase shifts to a nice dinner with a friend or two at a special restaurant, a mellow departure than days gone by.  And then things come full circle.  When you have kids of your own, they insist that birthdays require a cake with candles, presents and balloons.

When I woke up the morning of my birthday, I gave myself a pep talk (you might not admit to doing this, but trust me we all have that inner voice that talks to us).  I told myself that it was a special day and because it was my birthday it was going to be a great day.  I wasn’t going to let anything or anyone dampen my spirits.  As soon as I looked at my phone I began receiving messages from friends and family.  The thing I love the most about Facebook is that it is so easy to reach out to someone, no matter how much time has gone by or how many miles separate you, and let them know that you are thinking of them.  I continued on with my day like any Friday, volunteering in the first grade class.  When I arrived, my son proudly told his friends it was my birthday and they promptly began singing to me, cha cha cha’s included.  Then it was on to work, meetings, emails, etc.  Throughout the day I continued to get birthday wishes in the hall and on my phone.  They were little reminders that said to me why worry about (fill in the blank), it’s my birthday!  It was a subtle exercise that allowed me to put the present moment into perspective of the bigger picture.  It forced me to take stock in where my attitude was and allowed me to easily reset with the “it’s my birthday” mantra.  My day ended with my choice for dinner, presents, cake and more singing (of course).

In the end, the day was not physically different from any other day.  What was different was my perspective and my commitment to having a fun, positive day.  There’s really no reason why you can’t try to do that every day.  There are lots of things you could use as a reminders other than a texts/messages from a friend.  Every time you get a drink of water, or stand up from your chair, or hit send on an email – they are all opportunities to take a quick pause and check in with yourself to see if you are feeling how you want to feel in that moment.  I know that might sound really woo woo to you and like it’s a lot of hard work.  You might also be thinking that there are some days when it feels easier just to be in a grumpy/irritated/frustrated mood.  Those are all true and valid points.  But, if you can stop yourself even once during the day and evaluate your current feelings and perspective, you’ll not only feel better, but your day will turn out a little better than it would have.  

Heart-FULLy yours, 

Kacey

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