Win or lose, I will always do my best

Before every softball game we said the Pledge of Allegiance followed by the Little League Pledge:

I trust in God, I love my country and will respect its laws

I will play fair, and strive to win

But win or lose, I will always do my best.

I was reminded of those words last night as I watched my daughter's team lose in the tournament semi-finals.  They were a great team that had a great season.  They battled until the very last out and ended up losing 4-3, a score that rarely happens in 10 and under softball.  As they stood along the base paths to receive their participation medals, the tears glistened in some of the player’s eyes.  My daughter stood there proudly, not a tear in sight.  It was only afterwards, as she consoled her teammates that the tears started.  She was sad that they were sad.  She’s always been our empathetic heart, feeling the emotions of her friends around her ever since she was a baby at day care.  Now on the softball field it’s no different.

I recently watched a wonderful interview with Dr. Shefali Tsabary where she talked about her book “The Conscious Parent”.  There were many ideas she brought up that really make you think about parenting in a whole different way and I can’t wait to read the book.  But one of the things that stood out was when she said “Our children are showing us a mirror to our undeveloped self.”  It’s a powerful, multi-layered statement.  Think about it and you’ll really examine your interactions with your children.  She goes on to say that traditionally the parental role focuses on the parent teaching the child, but in reality it is the child that teaches the parent. 

Never was that more true during this softball season.  In talking with a good friend about our past softball days, she described me as “intense”.  I know that’s accurate and have tried really hard not to reflect that intensity on my daughter.  From the beginning I stepped back and let her set the tone.  The season started with her getting hurt during her first practice.  It would have been easy for her to give up and quit, but she showed that she was tough and kept going.  She only got a couple hits all season, but she never let it get her down.  She stepped into the batter’s box and gave every pitch her all.  She was a great teammate, always cheering, always friendly and always smiling.  Most important, she had fun.  She never recited the Little League Pledge, turns out she didn’t have to.  “Always do my best” came naturally to her and I couldn’t be more proud.

Heart-FULLy yours, 

Kacey

School's Out

Every year it catches me by surprise.  Every year I say, how did it go by so fast?  The end of the school year brings with it the feelings that the kids are growing up, getting bigger and getting older.  It gives us a reason to pause, reflect and remember.  By the comments that I’ve seen this week on facebook, I’m not the only one who feels caught up in what is truly a sea of emotions.

In the elementary school years, it’s easy to see the physical changes that can happen in less than a year.  Handwriting can change drastically.  Reading levels, skills and comprehension can be taken to another level.  Awareness of the world around them - scientific, social, economic and environmental – changes the conversations you have.  You see these little people emerging before your eyes and you get a glimpse of the person they will become.  All of this brings a surge of pride, excitement and anticipation, mixed with just a little relief.

Many of these changes could not occur without the influence of a good teacher.  When you really think about it, the relationship you develop with a teacher all occurs in less than 12 months, yet it can be one of the most significant relationships you will ever have.  There’s a quote you’ve no doubt heard: “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”  The statement is never truer when it comes to great teachers who come into our life for a season.  In a time when teachers are mentioned in the same sentence as budget cuts or test scores, we’ve been fortunate to have had the experience where their dedication to the true calling of developing these children trumps all outside influences.  It is that level of dedication that causes my heart to swell with admiration, appreciation, gratitude, love and a little sadness to leave them behind.

The idea that you are moving on, while your teacher “stays behind”, gives the end of the school year the feeling that something is over.  There is a kind of finality to it.  We celebrate our children for successfully finishing the year and all that they have accomplished.  However, by doing this we create the mindset that when you are not in school it somehow indicates that you are “done”.  Consciously we know the need to learn is never really over.  How we instill that sense of constant wonder and continual striving for personal growth is key.  Let’s celebrate their accomplishments and enjoy the satisfaction of completing something.  Wipe away the tears of sadness that something is coming to an end.  Then we can look to future for all that is yet to explore and excitement of what is to come.

Heart-FULLy yours, 

Kacey

Love and Gratitude

Two of the most powerful emotions that we are capable of feeling are love and gratitude.  As Mother’s Day 2014 comes to a close, our hearts are full of both.  It’s not your typical Sunday night. 

Chances are you took time today to celebrate your Mother, or someone who is like a Mother to you, either in person, on the phone or by remembering her in your thoughts.  We took the time to pick out a card or a gift, to try to reflect back our appreciation for all that she has done.  Quite an impossible task if you really think about it.  How do you put into words the appropriate response to unconditional love?

Some of us were also lucky enough to be on the receiving end of those gifts.  It could have been a special meal, flowers or a homemade treasure.  Often things don’t go as planned.  Kids get sick.  Traffic forces a change in plans.  But the love behind the plans is what matters the most.  The desire of the child to make the day special for their Mom is the same no matter what their age.

Whether you are the receiver or the giver of a Mother’s Love there is really nothing else like it.  Before the day comes to an end, take a minute to feel that love.  Close your eyes for just a minute and concentrate on what a Mother’s Love feels like for you.  Allow those feelings to fill your heart.  Next take a minute to be grateful.  Recall all the wonderful things that happened today, name each of them and be grateful for the experience.  Be grateful for the love that you were able to bring to others.  Be grateful for the love that they brought to you. 

Heart-FULLy yours, 

Kacey

What's the nicest thing......

It’s May!?!?!  How did that happen?  The weather’s getting warmer, baseball season is in full swing and the kids are almost out of school.  But most important, next Sunday is Mother’s Day.  Yes, it’s only a week away and you’re welcome for the reminder.

Of course “Mother’s Day” takes on a whole new meaning when you become a Mother, but that’s not exactly what this blog is about.

When I was in the second grade I was in the school choir.  We were the “Kids of the Kingdom”, K – 2^nd grade, 5 to 8 years old.  We even had robes.  We thought we were the real deal.  On Mother’s Day we had a special song.  I can still remember the words – lucky for you, you just get to read it and not hear me sing it:

What’s the nicest thing about your mother?

She cooks and she sews and she washes all your clothes

But what’s the nicest thing about your mother

That you’ll find annnnnyyyyywheeeerrrreee?

What’s the nicest thing?

The very nicest thing?

Is that she’s allllllwaaaaayyys there.

After we finished singing, we were given a carnation to take to our teary moms sitting in the pews beaming with pride.  The song became a Mother’s Day tradition at our church.  Long after my sister and I had out grown our choir robes, the new generation exuberantly sang “What’s the nicest thing……”  We’d sit in the audience lip syncing to ourselves, and our mom, snickering a little when we sang “she sews”.  Usually the song would continue to run through our head throughout the day, so we’d serenade our mom whenever the mood struck.  It became a staple of our Mother’s Day traditions.

A lot has changed since then.  Motherhood in the early 80’s was a lot different than motherhood in 2014.  But when you look at the words of the song, the simple message is timeless – “what’s the nicest thing, the very nicest thing, is that she’s always there”.  I think it’s safe to say that we’re all a little too hard on ourselves when it comes to “being there” for our children.  Parental guilt makes us feel like there is always a little more that we could, or should, be doing. 

We have to remember that “always there” has a different definition to a child.  It doesn’t mean every waking moment.  It doesn’t mean that you’re always doing something fun and exciting with expensive toys.  It means when they need a hug, you’re there.  When they need help with homework, an art project, playing catch or riding bikes, you’re there.  Just. Be. There.  It’s that easy.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms, Dad’s who are also moms, family/friends who fill in for moms and coworkers who are understanding of moms.  It truly takes a village.

Heart-FULLy yours, 

Kacey