Doing Something Right

5^th Grade Homework – Weekly Vocab Builder

“critical”

Definition: to find fault

Synonym: demanding

Illustration: Large stick figure saying “Do it now”.   Small stick figure “But, but”

Use it in a sentence: My mom is critical about homework.

Ouch.

I’m pretty sure I could change the name of this blog to the “Homework Diaries” and have enough to write about for months.  I know that you’ve all been there.  After a long day, practices, dinner, it’s getting late and everyone’s tired.  But there is still homework to do - it’s easy to slip into being critical.

The truth hurts.  Yes, I will own the fact that I can be critical about homework.  I know what she is capable of and I don’t want to see her just throw something together at the last minute.  But in fairness I’m also critical of myself and the job I’m doing as a parent.  It’s a hard job.  It’s an important job.  It’s a job where we all want to do what’s “right” for our kids.  So we share stories, read books, articles and watch how other people around us parent their children to see if someone has the magic check list of what to do.  But let’s admit we are all critical when it comes to parenting.  We watch people in the store and think “I would never do/allow/say that to my child.”  There’s a piece of us that silently thinks, well at least I do better than that parent.  We call up our friends, share our stories and try to get their perspective on how to handle a situation.  These discussions either validate our feelings that we are doing it right or we use their insight to change our approach, willing to try anything for a “better” result. 

We all want to raise our children in the “right” way so they are prepared for the future and can make it on their own.  But let’s admit that being a parent also feels like a direct reflection of you.  You feel like their behavior reflects on what you have (or have not) taught them.  We are critical of ourselves because we wonder what others are thinking of us and the job we’re doing when they look at our children.  Maybe not all of us, but most of us deep down are looking for at least that little bit of validation from the outside world that our children are kind and well behaved, therefore we must be doing something right.  When you write it down it seems a little silly.  We shouldn’t care about what other people think but comparison is ingrained in our culture.  The best thing we can do is trust that we are doing the best job that we can do in that moment.  We need to tune-in to see how our children are responding and make adjustments to our approach if needed.  My intention was never to be critical of homework to the point where my daughter felt I wasn't listening.  We talked about it, I explained my side and she explained hers.  I've also adjusted my approach just a little bit so that she knows I'm there to support her and not add to the pressure she is already putting on herself.  So far it's working, but who knows what words will be included in the next vocabulary list........

Fast forward two weeks, we are all gathering up our stuff getting ready to start our day.  She says “Don’t throw away the napkin I put in your lunch, ok?  But you can’t look until you get to work.”  Not really knowing what she was talking about, I agreed.  When I got to work, the first thing I did was pull out the napkin.  “Have a great day mommy!  I love you. –Punkin” with a great big heart at the bottom.  That’s all the proof I need, for today I’m doing something right.

Heart-FULLy yours, 

Kacey