Making Memories

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that as a parent I feel an obligation to do special things that are going to turn into wonderful memories for my children.  Special events or activities that they can look back on and remember with love and appreciation in years to come.  The holiday season puts a magnifying glass on this feeling of obligation as we try to get the perfect outfit, perfect tree and perfect present to make it a year they will never forget.  

There have been many studies, books and television shows on how our brain works to store memories.  It is a complex process where the actual memory is broken up into pieces and stored in different parts of the brain.  When it is time to recall the memory, all the pieces (the setting, the sounds, the smells, the feelings) are all pieced back together again to make one cohesive story.  The brain connects and reconnects these pieces thousands of times so that the memory is stored in your brain.  (Yes, this is a very gross simplification of what happens but you get the idea.)

Why does the brain go to so much work to help us remember?  It’s what makes us human.  It’s what helps us to learn and grow from our past experiences.  When we recall a specific memory, it’s triggered by thinking about a person, a place, a song, a good meal or all of the above.  The best memories are those that bring a smile to your face.  The ones that make you feel that tingle of excitement and love as if you were right back in that moment.

Too often we wait for a memory to pop back into our head.  Why don’t we proactively think of a happy/fun/delicious/loving/exciting memory when we are having a bad day?  I am going to start a “Memory Box” with the kids.  Each of them will have their own box and we’ll have one for the family.  They’ll be able to put anything that they want into the box – a movie ticket, a good grade on a school paper, a note from a friend, a special drawing or art project – it can be anything.  When we need a little pick me up or just want to have a little fun, we’ll bring out the box and talk about what we’ve put in there.  I think it will be fun and I can’t wait to see what they come up with.  One thing I know will happen is that more of the "little things" that make it into the box.  It's not always the extravagant events, but the smaller things, like a note in the lunch box, that mean the most and make the best memory. 

Maya Angelou says it best:

 “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
  

Heart-FULLy yours, 

Kacey