Getting Started.........

We’ve all read quotes on how you can “choose to have a good day”.  For a long time, I never really understood how you could “choose” when:

• your alarm doesn’t go off or

• the kids are fighting or

•  you’re totally stressed out at work or

•  your to do list a mile long and it never gets any shorter or

• any combination/all of the above 

All these things happen all day, every day, without end or relief.  We react instinctively to each scenario, the emotions naturally happen, they’re what make me, ME…….right?

A couple years ago, I would have agreed that my reactions were not something within my power to control.  Almost by accident, I started listening to interviews, reading books, following blogs and slowly I started to realize that maybe there was some truth to it.  Maybe I did have more power than I thought I did.

This growth and awareness has been great for me, but it left me with the question:

“How can I put this into simpler terms for my kids so that they don’t have to wait as long as I did to figure it out?”

It Starts Within Your Heart began as a phrase I started using with my 8 year old. Her 5 year old brother had gotten angry, yelled at her for something she didn’t do and she was mad. When I went in to ask her something, she got angry with me.  It would have been easy to get mad back, and in many previous situations I did, but this day I didn’t.

I took a deep breath and tried something new.  I put the back of my hand on her chest with my fingers pinched together.  I explained that she had all these feelings in her heart, and I started wiggling my fingers.  Sometimes those feelings are so strong that they stretch out through your body, fly through the air and hit the people around you.  In this case, her brother’s anger had hit her, made her angry and now that anger was coming out to me.  I asked her if she was really mad at me.  She thought about it for a beat and said “No”. 

Now don't get me wrong, this was not a one time, set it and forget it, miracle cure.  However it did establish a visual context within which we can talk about her feelings.  I ask her if those are the feelings from her heart or is she bouncing off someone else’s feelings.  Getting this dialogue started, making her stop and think about it, was the first step. 

When you become aware of the root cause of your emotions/mood/attitude, your entire perspective/life changes.  Some people may credit this to being “older and wiser” but I can’t help but think how powerful it will be to directly teach this to children from the start. 

I started searching the internet for a place that would relate these concepts to children and parenting.  I couldn’t find one with my exact vision, so here I am - It Starts Within Your Heart.  I want this to be a place where I can the share ideas and activities that have (and have not) worked for me with my family.  I want to hear from you, start a conversation, and expand the ideas, so that together we can give our kids a solid foundation they can use for the rest of their lives.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment below.  Thanks for reading!

Heart-FULLy Yours,

Kacey